New reason for an a.m. wakeup

I have to admit that lately I've been in a funk. Not really depressed, not really happy. I tried to verbalize it to my family in the last weeks because they saw that I wasn't my usual self. Part of it was that I couldn't make my family reunion in the States due to no extra cash. I have some money stashed away but I just got notice for some back taxes that I still have to verify. I also would have had to at least bring Evan with me which would have doubled the trip budget. Sigh.
Part of it was also the wearing off of the novelty of being a published writer. Now comes all the "mule" work of speaking engagements - which I love - but the traveling is really tiring. Even more exhausting is having to juggle the kids and the house and my other work endeavors all at the same time. Most of all I think that there was not one thing that was truly exciting me. Not my training, not my work, not really anything. I missed not having a main focus. I missed not having that fire under my butt.
The other night we had our osteopath over for dinner. He is like this magic person for any ache or pain that you have. I've seen him literally perform miracles on people. He has a young (second) wife and they have two children under four years. At the table while eating a super delicious foot long pizza she mentioned that she was also going to become an osteopath and signing up for the six year university course in september. I immediatley said "Oh, I'll do that too!" My thought was: she is just as busy as me and if she can find the time I can find the time. Then Piero turned to me and asked "I thought you were a writer?"

Am I? I get paid to write and I have one published book and hundreds of paid published articles but do I consider myself a writer? This was my constant thought for two days and nights. If I am a writer than I have to write. Like, constantly. I have a few problems with writing lately. I write mostly in Italian and that has arrived at a pretty good flowing state, but I feel like I'd be missing out on a lot if I didn't try and push myself to write in english again. The main reason that I even started this blog was to make myself keep up some sort of writing in my mother tongue. But what to write? What do I have to offer? What do I have to say?
This is what kept going through my head for the two days I was thinking. Then, it came to me. It was about 5.32 a.m. I had a thought about what I should be writing about in this moment.
I thought about it for another twenty-four hours and then sat Piero down and told him about it too. I told him it was something that excited me and that really, really made me want to get myself out of bed at the crack of dawn again to write. I feel like I have a purpose again. Yes, I still do the coaching and the paid writing assignments and whatever else I can do to earn money to live on, but the new super secret writing project got me up at 5.00 a.m. this morning. I dedicated an hour of my time to it and then had a nice breakfast before getting the kids up.

I feel complete again.

I am not at all sure where this whole thing will take me, but for the first time I am totally open to the experience and willing to just let it lead the way.