New reason for an a.m. wakeup

I have to admit that lately I've been in a funk. Not really depressed, not really happy. I tried to verbalize it to my family in the last weeks because they saw that I wasn't my usual self. Part of it was that I couldn't make my family reunion in the States due to no extra cash. I have some money stashed away but I just got notice for some back taxes that I still have to verify. I also would have had to at least bring Evan with me which would have doubled the trip budget. Sigh.
Part of it was also the wearing off of the novelty of being a published writer. Now comes all the "mule" work of speaking engagements - which I love - but the traveling is really tiring. Even more exhausting is having to juggle the kids and the house and my other work endeavors all at the same time. Most of all I think that there was not one thing that was truly exciting me. Not my training, not my work, not really anything. I missed not having a main focus. I missed not having that fire under my butt.
The other night we had our osteopath over for dinner. He is like this magic person for any ache or pain that you have. I've seen him literally perform miracles on people. He has a young (second) wife and they have two children under four years. At the table while eating a super delicious foot long pizza she mentioned that she was also going to become an osteopath and signing up for the six year university course in september. I immediatley said "Oh, I'll do that too!" My thought was: she is just as busy as me and if she can find the time I can find the time. Then Piero turned to me and asked "I thought you were a writer?"

Am I? I get paid to write and I have one published book and hundreds of paid published articles but do I consider myself a writer? This was my constant thought for two days and nights. If I am a writer than I have to write. Like, constantly. I have a few problems with writing lately. I write mostly in Italian and that has arrived at a pretty good flowing state, but I feel like I'd be missing out on a lot if I didn't try and push myself to write in english again. The main reason that I even started this blog was to make myself keep up some sort of writing in my mother tongue. But what to write? What do I have to offer? What do I have to say?
This is what kept going through my head for the two days I was thinking. Then, it came to me. It was about 5.32 a.m. I had a thought about what I should be writing about in this moment.
I thought about it for another twenty-four hours and then sat Piero down and told him about it too. I told him it was something that excited me and that really, really made me want to get myself out of bed at the crack of dawn again to write. I feel like I have a purpose again. Yes, I still do the coaching and the paid writing assignments and whatever else I can do to earn money to live on, but the new super secret writing project got me up at 5.00 a.m. this morning. I dedicated an hour of my time to it and then had a nice breakfast before getting the kids up.

I feel complete again.

I am not at all sure where this whole thing will take me, but for the first time I am totally open to the experience and willing to just let it lead the way.

Lost in space

I wrote this HUGE entry that totally disappeared on me! Blogger never ever does that...and I really don't have the time to re-write it so I'll just make a list of things I've done lately.

- I signed up for the Mergozzo double Olympic triathlon. Once you've paid the cash it's a done deal and makes it all the more real.

- My swimming and biking is going really well, my running sucks as usual but I'm trying to keep a positive attitude and leave the preparation to Piero. He can figure it out. One good thing that happened running - wise was the other day I did a 60' bike + 5 x 1km run, rec.2 and my fastest 1km run was 5'05" - I haven't run that fast since 2006 so I guess I suck a little less than I think.

- The hot weather has hit this side of the world. Spring was practically skipped over and we went straight into summer. I love running around in sandals, but I hate running in the heat. I also have to start planning out when to run: early a.m. or late p.m. - this until the end of september...

Bye for now!

Book presentations and training

I've been doing my best to promote my book while still working, cleaning, being the house taxi driver, and training. It's amazing how many people are coming out of the woodwork now to let me know how they think I ought to be selling the book or what my next move should be. Like, where were you all while I was struggling writing the thing?
I'm especially happy that I now have a coach (i.e. my husband was forced into coaching me) because I would have bailed on a bunch of workouts if I didn't know that he'd be watching over me. One of the things I am supposed to do is send my Polar HRM files to him on my bike and running workouts. That way he can check if I did the exercise right and how I'm progressing. This has been especially useful on lone runs because sometimes when the going gets tough (and I get my heart rate up too high) I walk. Not that I need to, but sometimes the incentive just isn't there. Now it is because if there's a little flicker in the heart graph he'll ask me what was happening. So things have been going good. As soon as I have the time I'll put my planned season races on the sidebar. Today's plan: 1500mt a.m. swim, book presentation in Ferrara in the afternoon.

Positive thinking!

Positive thinking is something I've been practicing for quite awhile. Whenever I want something or need a change I only think about a positive outcome. This is not always the best thing to do. My father always tried to get me to see the other side of things, the "reality" of a situation. But as time has passed and I find myself in different life situations, positive thinking is what has always gotten me through bad times and difficulties. Last year I picked up Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now" and was really able to shift my thinking from past and present to NOW and thinking positive. A great double whammy that allows me to live more peacefully.

Another thing that I've been working on is in realizing my dreams. What I want for myself, my family and my children. Some things are of course not automatic. Making my daughter happy is not 100% up to me, but trying to lay out a path for her to follow is part of my responsability as a parent. Certainly making my five year old son Evan healthy and happy right now is easily within my reach.

I've been competing in marathons since 1990 and in triathlons since 1996. I always said that I would compete in an Ironman before I turned 50. That's next year. I feel mentally ready to take on the challenge, I have a year and three months to get myself physically ready for Ironman Nice 2010.

I thought a long time about this, especially the venue that I've chosen for my first Ironman. I could have chosen Austria or Germany or England...and I think they just opened one in Ireland. But I wanted the sea. I want the salt water and the fish while I swim and the promenade on the beach. I want to rent an apartment and invite friends to share my adventure. I picture them walking or tanning on beach while I ride the bike portion of the race. I know that the other Ironman races have an easier bike portion, but this is the one that gets me dreaming. And isn't that what this is all about?

I'll have to become a biker. I'll have to BUY a new bike and a new wetsuit. I'll have to find the time to train while I handle my job and family. To start this adventure the first thing I did was talk with my husband. He knew that I wanted to do this but I engaged him in helping me train. He is the best coach and I really needed someone to be able to report back to and help me hold my interest. I also wanted him to have an active part in my preparation given that the training will take up so much of my time next year.
So now that we're all set and clear, I can now start my base training!